Father, I know you were there when I was a child, when I didn't know any better and thought that what I had was as good as it would ever get. But now I see!... After trying so hard, time after time, season after season to know you and heal, all along it's been you-not me- reaching for me and pulling me into your everlasting arms-your strong embrace. Where NO ONE can pry me from. I hear the enemy often telling me to give up, that you're not really there. But I feel you. So I say he's right, you're not there, you're right here, with me. You'll never leave me and I know that. How I feel about that I've yet to decide. For you know me, and I cannot understand how anybody would still want me after knowing the sickness in this heart.
But here you are, and you've never relented, you remain fervent in your endless pursuit of me-of my love. I always thought I trusted you. Whenever anyone would say "you should trust God" my immediate reaction was one of an insulted prideful child. Obviously I trusted you, right? I mean I would go to church every time service was being held, I would sing, and even talk to people about you... Truth is I haven't trusted you at all. To say that I know not your power is an understatement. You are MIGHTY, and every time I fail you I diminish your might in my life. But that's over now. I'm not going back. I'm going to let you love me. Romance me, love. I need you to gather all the pieces that I've scattered on the floor, I need you to hold my heart and please make it yours. You are LIFE, apart form you I can only expect death.
Thank you for your unfailing Love and Mercy, two means by which you have broken past all my pain and shame and have brought me into your light. A light that I'm not ashamed to stand before-not anymore- because you love me. I can honestly say that you've LOVED me past my weakness, shame, limitations, chains, and pain....With you is where I want to be-where I belong. Love, let me stay this way forever.
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