It's All About You

I can't imagine my life without you. Early on I knew you were for me. To Hold me, Love me, and Never Leave me. But this world has lost its way, being driven to the very place of non-existence;and along with it my loved ones. How will they know all that you're worth if no one will express it? If instead of loving them, I become selfish and work for my own selfish desires? No. They deserve more. This world deserves more. 
Alone no one can accomplish anything...I'm not alone, El-Shaddai is right here with me.
 Many times I've wondered why He's chosen to love me and give me all  that he's dared trust me with. Truth is, it's not about me and what I've been given-it's all about Him. So when a problem surfaces and I think it's all about me-my life, my problems and the like- bring me to a place of recognition Lord; It's all about you. Your World, Your Loved ones, Your problems and  most importantly Your Victories. I am but an instrument in the hands of  the Living God!

And if HE was able to give EVERYTHING(even his very life) then surely I can, too...

To the man I love most on this Earth...

I have known you for twenty years now-well more like You have known me.

 I have seen you struggle for my safety and  love the same- for me.

I have seen you hurt and walk in shame.

But daddy, remember that my love still remains.

Don't you see that you are precious?

A true treasure that I get to love? 

Don't you know what you mean to me-to those that love you through the rough?

I feel your hurt when I see you cry,

And love you more when you realize that what you are is what I need,

I woudn't ask for more than these:

Times when you'd spank me for being bad-

then heal the pain away with your hand.

Times I'd cry for getting picked on-

you'd sit me on your lap and tell me I'm "Bonita".

Times I'd wear those mini skirts in public-

You'd scold me and make me wear an ugly "tunic".

Times we laugh and laugh for no real reason-

and mom accuses you of treason

when you share with us her funny moments

all the while imitating her crazy movements .

Times we talk of music and dreams you've let go

to become the father I will love forevermore.

Times we dance to the rhythm playing from your country-

I remind myself that I have been lucky

to have been blessed with such a daddy as this,

to dance with and feel this bliss. 

Daddy, you are more the man than you give yourself credit,

You're kind, gentle; don't you get it?

Without you there would be no Me,

or Gg to walk these storms with me.

I love you for who you are and have been

For you have taught me to be humble and never give in

to the ways of this world-the drinking and smoking-

I think if I'd try it I'd die from the choking.

The creator of the Universe has made us meet

so that you'd receive his love through me.

Because, Daddy, you are worth so much to Him,

and for love of me He'll reel you in

to love you and hold you when you feel alone

and remind that where you are, He has already gone.

To the man I love most on this Earth,

How can I ever fully express how much you're worth?

Thank you for being my daddy...

"Knock"

You know, I've never really considered the the whole truth in Matthew 7:7. It reads: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." I have a tendency of only considering the "Ask" and "Seek" from this verse; but not until now am I considering the third option: Knock. 
Our Creator is Holy and because of His Holiness we tend to allow for guilt to rule over His love. You see, God Loves us sooooo much that he laid down his life so that we would have life- and not die as our sin deserves.
Being perfect is not in the job description of being a believer or follower of Jesus Christ. Jesus wants our love and companionship. He longs to pour out His love on our lives; but we push him away. Why? Could it be that the guilt of our failures is at a higher standing in our lives than God's sacrifice(the bridge that links us together again)?
Perhaps we don't understand how a Mighty God would still love and pursue us inspite of our deliberate disobedience. But that's okay, you don't have to :)
Jesus says to "Knock and the door will be opened." So it does not matter where you are right now,where you've been, or where you will be tomorrow; Jesus' promise remains. You don't have to worry about being rejected or left to fend for yourself. Know that the door will be open; if only you knock.

She is Free

Who in their right mind would suggest that the love of one man was enough to break the sick routine that kept her captive yet supplied her needs?

No usher was necessary when Lada arrived at the dark candlelit room. She made herself feel right at home. The house had plenty of rooms after all; she’d feel less guilty using their spare room rather than the master bedroom. His wife would be gone all week, so she’d make enough for her stay at the Wilkos’ place- a mediocre apartment building she called home.

While wrapped in his sweaty arms; his coarse face along her cheek, Lada caught a glimpse of a swaying tree through the window. So much hope. So much life. One day she too would be free to sway with the breeze of life-she reminded herself. “It will soon be over.”

            Morning came and Lada’s reflection didn’t show the sincere glow it once did when she was a child, rather a tattered distortion of what she had become. Nights didn’t come easy for Lada and rent for staying at the Wilkos’ place did not get paid on its own. “I have no choice,” she reminded herself. “But even when I have enough money and muster up enough courage to run away from this; who would want me?”

            Almost as if long ago on some celestial calendar, August 7, 2005 had been marked as the fateful day Lada would leave her pink laced wallet behind in the door of the back seat in a passenger cab.

            Early August was usually humid and hot, not rainy and cold as it was that morning. Lada was preparing herself a normal breakfast to remind her that she was still a normal human being during the day; even if her nights proved otherwise. The phone rang three times before she could reach it.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Is this Lada Mariano?”

“Yes. Who’s asking,” irritation forming in her voice.

“I’m sorry, my name is Aiden.”

“Oh. How can I help you?”

“Well, I believe I have something that belongs to you. I found it in a passenger cab. A pink wallet? Very pretty picture by the way.”

“Mmmhmm, that’s funny because I happen to have my wallet right here.” She struggled across the dining room over the clothes left on the floor from her previous encounters. Maybe she was in a hurry to get out of the cab to escape the morning’s rain and hadn’t realized she’d left it, “You know what, you’re right. I must have left it this morning on my way back from… work.”

They made arrangements to meet at an old coffee shop down Silvana St.and Aiden had joked about Lada being indebted to him; so coffee was on her.

            A little past noon, Lada sat across Aiden in the shop. Really? A coffee shop? All her other meetings had been hidden by night and surrounded by walls, never by people as they were now.  Aiden was handsome. Something about his tender eyes and soothing voice made Lada believe she could trust him. Not with the details of her “situation”, but with herself.

           

            Well into their relationship Lada began to become aware of a difference in Aiden. Aside from the fact that he was so indulgent and gentle; there was still another difference. “What is this?” She couldn’t seem to understand his source of happiness. She loved him. In his arms she felt secure. Nothing could harm her. She had found in him the courage to stop engaging in prostitution; but she’d never even imagined telling him.  Aiden was too special. If she told him he would leave and her life would be as meaningless as before.

“Lada…” he whispered as he held her close enough to feel the breeze of his breath along the side of her ear.

 “Yes?” she replied, panting subtly.

“Why don’t you let go? Let me take care of you. Is there something you’re not telling me? Anything at all…”

“What?” The question came somewhat of a shock to her.

She froze and remained silent as she imagined the conversation she dreaded for so long to unfold itself. No going back now; she had to be honest.

“Look, I’d understand if after this you want nothing to do with me… I’ve been selling my body for money. I was left alone after my grandmother died five years ago; I had no place to go and no money. I didn’t want to die, Aiden. So I did what I thought would only be a one time deal. I got caught in the middle of bills and couldn’t find a way out. I don’t want that life anymore. I never thought I’d fall in love with anyone enough to feel the strength to go on and leave that degrading hole… Until I met you.”

“Aww Lada, honey, you don’t have to feel alone. You don’t know it yet, but the strength you’re looking for comes from someone far greater than me. He’s everywhere actually, and he has heard your deepest cry and desire. You are not filthy. You were created perfectly to shine for His Glory. So that others can know that The Creator himself is on your side. I’m not leaving…I never will. Thank you for your trust. I love you even more for this.”

            Through Aiden God made a way to reach out to Lada. Never again will her body feel the filth of an unfaithfully disgraceful husband degrade her human state. She has hope. She is alive. She is free.

A Heart After Yours... He'll be just a while

I'll wait in submission at the hand of The Maker

"Don't worry my child, he'll be just a while"

Lead him to me, is what I would ask,

But me without you, he'd bargain for less.

For I on my own have nothing to offer;

A stem with no petals, A locked door with no handle.

"Don't worry my child, he'll be just a while"

Lead him to you is what I do ask for;

A heart after yours-- he'll make you his master

To head the household we'll share as one,

I'll see him the man I knew he'd become.

"Don't worry my child, he'll be just a while"

I will wait in you Lord and see how you cancel

The sick in my heart, indeed you will answer.

"Don't worry my child, he'll be just a while"

You Know You're Cool When:

Your Pastor starts quoting Nacho Libre...
Your Sister doesn't expect a suprise Birthday wish and hates you for it...
Your roommates Don't know what you do at night! jk...
Your Turtle doesn't stink, or talk, or fly =/...
Your Internet works and the person right next to you doesn't have signal...
Your Best Friend is your ONLY friend...
You make a Joke and Nobody hears it...
You look dashing but have green stuff in your teeth...
Yes, you know you're Cool when:
You fall on your face while wearing a skirt and pizza in hand =/...
Your mom has a facebook and a myspace but doesn't know how to work either...
You Squeeze a Ketchup bottle and it makes a Fart noise, but noone believes it was the bottle =/...
You poke your nose while driving, thinking your windows are tinted...
You know you're Cool when the boy you like seems to like you...but says he sees you as a friend...
You're a cashier that can't do math...
You use the samples from a magazine as perfume...
You're sooo rich you only have $2 in Savings haha...
You know you're Cool when you have no idea how you're here now or where you'll be next, but enjoy every single moment of it :)...
THAT'S WHEN YOU'RE COOL. :)

Draw me close

Today we're here. Tomorrow? Who knows? The days are going by faster and faster as to remind me that this rollercoaster called life is not over yet. Not quite.And even though at times I don't seem to be participating in this coaster; I am. But without you, this ride has no meaning. Where would I be if you hadn't extended your hand that day and said "Come and rest"?... Without you drawing me close, I wouldn't be here. Let me rest in your arms...forever. So here I am... This is me:)